You say you love me, but I see you looking past me, or maybe you’re searching somewhere deep within me. You’re looking past my imperfections, past my scars, my weirdness, my quirkiness, and past all that is unique to me. Instead, you pry deeper, you pick my soul apart, you investigate my mind, my thoughts, and you divide my heart in pieces.
Instead of seeing me, you so desperately try to find all the ways, in which I am reflecting you. You browse my soul, looking for glimpses of your own, you ask me questions, you wonder about my answers, but mostly you love the thoughts we have in common. I see your eyes light up, when you hear an idea of yours spoken through these lips of mine. I see the corners of your mouth curve up, when I express an opinion which you also share.
So when you say you love me, do you really love me? Or do you merely love all the ways in which I am reflecting you? When you embrace me, is it really me you’re holding? Or are you grasping at yourself?
What if I will change tomorrow?
Will you still love me if you look past my imperfections, past my scars, past my quirkiness and weirdness, if you pry deep, pick my soul apart, investigate my mind, my thoughts, divide my heart in pieces, and find no part of me reflecting you? Will you still love me if you will be forced to see me, for me, and only me? What if tomorrow, you won’t find a single thought of yours within me? Will you still love me then?
Perhaps it’s not me you love, and maybe, it’s not you I love. Perhaps, we don’t love each other at all, but instead it is our own reflections we are madly in love with, and right now, I love the way you are reflecting me, and you love the way I am reflecting you.
So years down the road, or maybe months, or even days, or merely hours, when you’ll say you hate me, I’ll know, it is not me you hate, it’s your reflection in me, you miss.
In a world where everyone loves their own reflection, it is hard to be unapologetically yourself. The more I observe the world and the people in it, the more aware I become that most people do not love others, instead they love their own reflection in others, they love listening to their own mind spoken through the lips of others. That is why when your opinions are no longer theirs, they start hating you. But don’t mind them, for it is not you they hate, it is their own reflection in you that they miss.