Following My Heart To Costa Rica
My heart is racing a million miles an hour, it feels like at any moment it will race itself out of my chest. I am actually going to go through with this, I am actually going to pursue my dream, my passion, regardless of how challenging and how hard it will be.
I remember the first day I fell in love with hot yoga, yet, I never pictured a career in the field. It looked too hard, and too complicated. The headstands, arm balances, extreme twists and bends intimidated me. They seemed impossible. I simply loved what it did to my body, how it made me feel mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I loved the sweat. So after a cheap 30-day trial, I signed up for a six month membership and I was committed, I practiced it, at least 5 times a week. With each time I found a new love and appreciation for it. With every practice my body surprised me, and I realized that those impossible bends, twists, arm balances, and headstands were actually very possible.
A few short months into my practice, I knew, that I knew, that I knew, exactly what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I wanted nature to be my office. I wanted to inspire people. I wanted to help them seek balance and harmony in their lives, I wanted to help them see the beauty in their bodies regardless of the size or shape of them, and to appreciate what their bodies are capable of. I wanted to create a place of peace, awareness, and now. I wanted to help people find beauty that flows from the inside. I wanted to teach and I wanted to make people sweat. I wanted to give others what my teachers gave me.
Now, I am sitting here, drinking a hot cup of Sencha tea, and reading an email from Anamaya informing me that I am accepted, and they received my 2k deposit. The email describes what I need to pack, read, and bring for an entire month. It gives me options for transportation and details my daily schedule for the month of May. It gives me a variety of recreational activities to choose from, such as cooking classes, surfing lessons, and different hikes. From the outside, I may look peaceful, calm, and zen. I may even have half a smile flirting on my lips, But my heart is racing a million miles an hour, and I am terrified. Because I now taste the reality of this, even though it is still seven months into the future, I am actually going through with this.
I am terrified not because I have to do yoga for 30 days, but because I am doing it alone, in a different country. The last and only time I was separated from my husband during our 3 years of marriage, for 3 days to attend a 10-day silent retreat in a different city, I lasted 2 nights, and even then, I cried my heart out and filled my journal with depressing lyrics, even though I was forbidden to write. On the third day, I broke down and called him to come save me.
I am trusting this will be a different and a better experience because I will actually be able to talk, my days will be filled with activity, I will be able to photograph, journal, blog, and even skype. And I will definitely be updating my blog daily! But I still can’t imagine being away from my husband, my home and my close friends for an entire month. But, despite everything, I am actually going through with this, I am actually going to pursue my dream and my passion. Life is too short to live it mediocre.